The shadowy face around us...

This morning, I started with my daily ritual of going across the street and having some coffee at Starbucks. Today was was no different than any other, expect I noticed on the chalk board there was messages regarding a co-working who suddenly died a couple of days ago.

Because I am there on a nearly daily basis, I stopped to ask who had died. After all, I had read the name (David), but I had no idea who he was. I found out that David and I has talked in passing for nearly three months. Nothing world shattering, just regular hello, how are you doing today, any plans for the weekend, and thanks for the coffee type of conversations. I knew in conversation that he was a nice kid, but at no time did I ever ask him his name.

I am sadden by the fact that he left this world well before what should have been his appointed time; I am sadden by the fact that I didn't get to know him better; I am sadden by the fact that I never asked him his name! This is the world that we live in... One where we accept what is in front of us, never asking and never inquiring. Where the faces in front of us are transitory and therefore there is no need to look beyond that face to see the person.

I write letter to my son with my words of wisdom from time to time. Currently my son doesn't read, but I hope one of these days in the not too distant future, he can read the letters and if I am fortunate, incorporate these rambling of mine into his own character. I know that later this afternoon, I will tell him to look beyond the face, and see the person. We are all intertwined in the pattern of existence, and we never know how a person might affect ones own being.

I wish I had said to David, "Hey, you are a cool dude" and have let him know that I appreciated our brief conversations. I wish I had even taken the time to ask him his name as opposed to me being self-absorbed with my own issues. I will tell you this David, I made that mistake before, but I can assure that I will not make that mistake again. I will not say rest in peace, but instead say good adventures in whatever comes after you passing from this plane.

Imagine this!

Imagine that after years of working hard in your field, based around a through education, you find yourself homeless. Not only homeless, but trying to provide for your five your old son, who is sharing the adventure  (or misadventure) with you.

Imagine that all of your "friends" and acquaintances, that you have helped many times before, suddenly don't recall your previous efforts on their behalf, thus are not overly enthused to repay the favor. Also as in the mix, that close family (like a spouse for instance, as well as her family) could not only be concerned about you, but could not even be concerned about the child (or children) that are also involved.

Suddenly, the days fade into one non ending stream of disappointment, ambivalence, and depression, as you wait for the nightmare to end. Spending your evenings, longing for the days of yesteryear, when the future seemed full of hope and adventure. Followed my the morning and afternoon hours waiting for the day to close out, to fall into a restless sleep, all to start it anew the next day.

Mix in a very bad economy, a lack of a support group and a struggle to wonder where relief is going to come from, and you are now living my life.